Entry
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Been a while, but this one was amusing so in the archive it goes.
It's clear noon and I'm riding the bus to the mall. In the windows, two know characters appear, it's the two most annoying girls from middle school. One of them being quite alright now having met her again - although seeing her in my dream now makes me question whether or not that actually happened - but the other one have had 3 kids and lives with her mum, and well, you know how I value this glorious demonstration of passive dysgenics. They have one thing in common, however, they've got horrible gothic dye jobs, and you can actually see they're emerging as if it was a hip hair dye commercial all reproduced down to the smooth voiceover presuming you didn't like your previous ultraviolet dye.
I elude the sight of one of them but the baby plopper skates up to the window asking for money. Apparently, I owed her some - and my integrity stays intact even in my dreams. We eventually meet at the parking lot, and it's apparent from my hesitation to give her the demanded ten pounds that she just needs a job and money, and we're in the clear. Swearing this situation have happened before on scrubs, I scan my database of Coxian insults that will dismiss her yet leaving me looking cool. Unfortunately, before a suitable match is found she says she needs the money for lube as her housemates have been using hers, and well, we've all been there..
Still hesitant to relinquish my stash, I wave it in front of her face; "if you're a good girl", I say, yanking it away from her. Great, now I have to spend time with her, that would've been reason enough to pay. My deus ex machina arrives; it's a huge seagull fresh from a wing operation. Encased from the neck down (like a dress) in a transparent plastic cube, it was the saddest thing ever. It looked at my inquiringly as if to ask; friend help gully fly?
Then the bitch threw a rock at it, that's my cue. I'm walking off with my money into a mall of Selfridges like proportions, and through a series of divisive manoeuvres involving continuous use of the many escalators, I end the mall scene by grinding down the stairs in a maybeline nail saloon. I caused a stir, but then again, such monstrosities shouldn't even exist.
After exiting through the back I find myself back in the parking lot where a boss fight is waiting for me. It's seems easy, but one of the things that needs to be done is to disable his fancy camera so he wouldn't take photos of me. I break of the lens, but nothing happens. Clearly, that was not what you were meant to do. I find the hack feature on it, and via the deliberate UI, chose system -> delete all mc. Yes, mc from one of the memory recall buttons on a calculator; we're talking high tech shit here. That did it, next cut scene starting - it's obviously a cut scene because it's impossible to dodge - he emerges from behind the camera and shoots me with his granite flak cannon, ouch. Cunning prisoner escape mission to come? Possibly, his helper mixes poison in my cereal through his telekinetic glove, and whilst I try not to eat it, my hands seem to move on their own. My suit measures my relative poison level 10, 8, 7, 5, 3, 2, 3, 2. Shit, this is bad, 80% poisoned. The numbers rise slowly to ten again, but left my powers drained. I barely escape their wrath by not snoozing.
phew
